Serious withdrawal

My sore hip - it is more serious than I first thought. I went to the doctor and I went to physio (again and again and again). I've stretched and iced and rested my hip and it STILL hurts. My physiotherapist is stumped and my doctor is of no help, "it's just going to take longer to heal," she says. Yes, but what is needed to be healed? What can I do to help it? It hurts more now than it did when I was running 40k a week. It's been so long since I've laced up my shoes, gasped for breath and pushed myself harder than I ever thought I could that it's hard to believe I used to do that. That I can do that.

I want to sign up for some spring races. I want to push myself again. I want to fly along the waterfront and zone out.

I want to run.